The Art of Nice

Too many times I think back and wish I had handled an interaction or experience a little differently. What the past has taught me is how to handle these interactions a little better and to become more of the person that I admire or want to see myself become.

Have you ever read the book, "The Power of Nice"? Within the pages there are these notes worth remembering:

A positive impression is a seed for the future.
Think of the positive people you've met in your life. Is it your mailman, a worker at your favorite coffee spot, the dry cleaner? It's that person that's always smiling and ready to greet you...they're working to make you happy and deliver good service. And you remember and appreciate them for it. Remember that anytime YOU are nice to someone it throws out positive energy that is remembered as well, often forever.

You never know what can become of chance.
We hear the stories about how someone helps a stranger change a flat on a rainy night and that person ends up being in a position to bestow great gifts for a selfless act. I've personally received great dividends from taking just a little time out for someone else. I'm always super grateful when others take time out for me, too.
From the book, "The Power of Nice:
Diane Karnett certainly never thought the young woman she met on a train home to New York City would transform her life. The woman was visiting her grandmother, who happened to live in Diane's neighborhood, so they split a cab ride. When they arrived at the grandmother's apartment, the woman asked Diane if she'd help her carry bags up to the fifth-floor walk-up.
"I figured why not?" But by the time they reached the fourth floor, she could think of many reasons why not.
The woman's eighty-five-year-old grandmother turned out to be an ex-Ziegfeld showgirl named Millie Darling, who befriended Diane. "Through the years, I was treated like royalty at her favorite jazz clubs and saloons," says Diane.
That would have been more than enough reward for lugging a few bags up several flights of stairs. But it turns out Millie was the mother of Chan Parker, widow of the legendary jazz great Charlie Parker. When Diane was unemployed, Chan invited Diane to live with her in her farmhouse outside of Paris. Diane accepted and told her former employer about her move. They said that since she was moving to Paris anyway, why not set up shop and run a co-venture for them there? Diane remained in Paris for four glorious years, spending weekends at Chan Parker's farmhouse, socializing with Chan's fabulous and fascinating visitors--jazz legends, journalists, even Clint Eastwood. "I could have let that stranger on the train carry her own bags up. And missed it all," says Diane.
When we meet strangers on the street, we usually assume they aren't important to us. Unlike our friend Diane, we often avoid contact with the woman sitting next to us on the train or maybe even race ahead to beat her to a cab as we exit the station. The thinking is, "She's just some woman who has nothing to do with my life. Getting the cab is more important than being nice to her."
But how do you know that? This woman could be the sister of your boss. Or a real estate agent who knows of a home in your dream neighborhood. Or the head of a foundation that could give your fledgling charity the backing it desperately needs. The bottom line is, this woman is important to many people. You have to treat everyone you meet as if they are the most important person in the world-- because they are. If not to you, then to someone; and if not today, then perhaps tomorrow.

People grow and change.
We usually think to be nice to the VP's and CEO's. But how about the receptionist or the intern? The receptionist today may be the VP in a few years. I've had great relationships with people that couldn't afford to pay me, but when the day came that they could afford to do training with me, they didn't hesitate to purchase sessions because I'd always been nice to them.

Nice should be part of who you are.
Opening a door. Helping someone carry their bags. Thinking ahead and anticipating the needs of others. Going out of your way to do something meaningful. The simplest of gestures can win--or lose--big business.

You'll remember the negatives.
Even if you treat a stranger badly or have a bad interaction with someone you'll never see again, you will know. I say this all the time...I get better sleep at night when my slate is clean. I don't want any bad mojo hanging over my head! It's just easier if we're direct and clear the air when we need to. Admit if you wrong someone, they'll be very appreciative of your effort to come clean. It all goes back to treating others as we want to be treated.

Try this on for size:
Do three things this week that have no payoff for you, but they do have immediate payoff to another. How? Perhaps you compliment a stranger, open a door, tip a little extra, ask questions about other's lives, donate to a charity...the list goes on.

Become more of the type of person you admire.

If I were a better person, I would...

On the Personal Level:

Wow, I haven't logged in in quite some time. That is disappointing and I will do better. Things are good...life is an amazing journey that I get to take part in everyday. Tonight I had an amazing workout, so good to be back in the gym. It's helping my volleyball game lots. I also have had the opportunity to support two of my dear friends that are going through some tough changes in their lives. It feels good to be able to be a shoulder for when they need it. Here's to a happy Wednesday for all of you. Goodnight!